Love is water
It was the fourth week of quarantine when my wife began to cry.
One of her dad’s favorite things to do is to go hiking every Tuesday with his buddies. For the ten years I’ve known him, the only thing that has ever stopped him from going is either being hospitalized or lockdown. Bad weather doesn’t stop Lluis. He loves the mountains. It’s his place. The moment he steps onto a trail he blends into it. But even more than the mountains, he loves getting a day out with his friends. They’ve had this weekly tradition for over a decade.
It broke my wife’s heart when he told her his closest friend in the group had just passed away. He was 72-years-old. He was perfectly healthy. No underlying conditions. He followed all the rules. He didn’t even leave his apartment to get food. COVID killed him anyway. …
It took hitting rock bottom for me to learn the real meaning of success
The phone rang. This was it, I thought. At last, all the years of struggle I’d endured were about to be worth it.
Growing up with a severe speech impediment and social anxiety, I had a very limited view of what I was capable of accomplishing. But as I grew into adulthood, I began to push myself far beyond my comfort zone. I hired a communication coach and threw myself into a sales job, where I’d be forced to talk to people every day. And I became good at what I did, working my way up to managing a sales team. I got a taste of success, and then I wanted more. …
Here’s what they said
As an American living in Spain, it didn’t take me long to realize that most Europeans aren’t massive fans of the self-help world. In fact, the majority of my friends loathe it with the same intensity as they do most politicians.
For the longest time, to avoid the punches in the gut, I kept the dirty secret that I was pumping out self-help articles on a weekly basis to myself. But two years ago, after an article went viral, I came clean and I told my buddies about my little hobby.
At first, their comments stung and they couldn’t believe I was funding my life by telling other people how to live theirs. But over time I leaned into it and each week I began sending them not only my own articles but also those of my fellow self-help writing friends. …
Don’t throw balls people can’t catch
“My favorite thing about today is nobody bit me!”
In an instant, the words of my 2-year-old son transported me back to the first day I taught English.
The year was 2010. The place was a 45-minute bus ride from Sants Estacio station in Barcelona to a town I’ll never purposely visit again.
As a 32-year-old single guy, teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to say the word sandwich in English wasn’t what I had in mind when I bought a one-way ticket to the Catalan capital months prior.
But I was hungry. Literally. Two years earlier the father of my business partner in Central America wiped out my finances by stealing my house. Literally. What little money I had left was running out. Combine this with not having legal working papers and I had no choice but to trade in my dreams for a box of crayons and 7€ an hour cash-in-hand. …
People invest in those who invest in themselves
“I’ve met a few of the sales leaders in the office and I’m shocked by how different they all are. That being said, there’s gotta be a secret. Are there any shared qualities or behaviors that have led to their success?”
A new hire asked me this question shortly after I was promoted to corporate trainer. After reinforcing again that all the top producers picked up the phone 100 times a day, I told the keen woman they all proactively invested in themselves.
17 years have passed since that conversation took place. The world has changed tremendously during this time. But no matter where my career has taken me as an entrepreneur and now career coach, the people who continually invest in themselves outshine those who don’t. …
But first, a story
“Laia!” I shouted. “What’s a bad word for a woman that starts with a K and ends with an N?”
“What the hell are you talking about?” my wife shot back. “English is your first language, not mine!”
“I’m not sure. Someone just left a comment on one of my articles saying I was a K that ends with an N. Any clue what she’s talking about?”
“Google it!” she screamed from her office. “I gotta finish something for work!”
“I think she’s implying I’m the male version of a Karen,” I said moments later in a questionable voice. …
Don’t kill your darlings
“This is just a theory, but I think I know why your writing gained traction — you lived 30+ years without a smartphone!”
My friend Jake Daghe recently said this to me and I couldn’t help but agree. When I began writing, the fact I couldn’t rely on technology to entertain myself growing up made it easy to consistently come up with stories to tell.
But regardless of the experiences I had, I still needed to learn how to write in a way that made my articles memorable and helpful to the people reading them.
Like anyone pursuing creative work, I made a ton of mistakes starting out. But I also made some decisions that turned out to be pretty smart and below you’ll find my top 5. …
Restraint is a choice
On a typical New York City day, David J. Polly grabbed a cab en route to Grand Central Station. A few minutes into the ride, a car jumped lanes and if it hadn’t been for the quick reflexes of his driver, they would’ve had an accident.
It took David a minute to regain his composure. But seconds later he came to the edge of losing it again when the reckless driver started throwing f-bombs at David’s driver.
David was in utter shock. But what really blew him away was how his driver responded. …
Take a break from what’s in front of you and finally see what’s around you
I’m a big believer that the enemy of productivity is always working. At the beginning of the pandemic, however, this belief was put to the test. Like many others, I saw my work contracts get cut in half, and I felt pressured to put in overtime to replace them. But fortunately, I didn’t have to. During this time, something surprising happened: New clients began reaching out, and I started feeling more creative and inspired than I had in years.
A big reason for this is because I continued to follow the lead of business coach Dan Sullivan and prioritized white space on my calendar. On his podcast, Inside Strategic Coach, Sullivan said, “Free time isn’t just a reward for hard work; it’s a necessary prerequisite for doing good work.” …
We are the average of the stories we tell ourselves.
One of the first things that stood out when I moved to Barcelona 10 years ago is that many of the streets and monuments are named after artists. As someone who grew in the US surrounded by the names of kings of industry or politicians, I found this refreshing.
Whenever I leave my apartment, I’m reminded of the importance of making art. Over time, this message rubbed off as I slowly began to prioritize artistic goals over business ones and since then I’ve never felt more fulfilled.
There’s a lot of truth to the statement made famous by Jim Rohn that we’re the average of the five people we spend the most time with. As we get older, the same goes for being the average of the food we eat the most too. But I can’t help thinking that we’re most like the words and stories we consistently tell ourselves. …
