When I left home my dad gave me two rules to live by:

#1. Never play poker against a man who has the same name as a city — Detroit Mike or Vegas Phil will take your money one way or another.

#2. Nothing ever good came from the words, “I was not listening to you, but I beleive…..” — do not comment on posts you do not read.

Actually now that I think about it — my Nana told me another one —

Never go to the bathroom when standing on your head, but Nana drank a lot.